Monday, September 2, 2013

Mixing it all

Today, the first of September, I start my journey back to my husband and daughter.
Yesterday, I settled our son into his boarding school.

It started off exciting and filled with so much anticipation.  We had many items to check off the list they give you upon arrival.  We settled bags and items into his dorm....actually, first we had to find  his dorm, then we settled in.
Then off to put those checks next to the list....the health services, the business office, picture ID, receive books and find his mail box.  Back to the room to unpack, unload, change the furniture around, to lunch, back to the room to finish up, a little shopping at the bookstore, then a speech by the head of school.

And then it happened.  After running around most of the day, we had to say farewell.  I have never experienced anything more heartbreaking.  It was so hard to have my son hug me goodbye, with heavy hearts and tears in both of our eyes.  It makes me question the decisions we made, it makes me worry that he is only doing this just to please us, yet, I found his strength. 
He knew he couldn't take being with me any longer, so he asked me to leave a little earlier than necessary.  He knew what he needed to do, in order to pull himself together to go to his next stop...meeting with all the new students.
He apologized (unnecessarily) later in a text, for leaving a little early, but he couldn't take being any more sad.
It made me proud and a little smile came across my sad face, knowing that he knows himself.  He knows what he needs to do in order to compose himself and get himself ready for the next step.

I'm sure there will highs and lows, and good days and not so good days.  I think he will learn so much about himself, others and the community that surrounds him.

Yet, I drove away today, in fog and rain....

I took pictures of the beautiful pond on the way that I commented to him that ...
"I should stop and take a picture of this beautiful pond" and never did...
Well, I took these pictures and sent them to him.

I know he is staying busy, he was doing better last night, and our lives, though forever changed, will only bring us closer together and cherish our moments together.  
I am so happy to be going back to see my husband and our precious daughter, even though all of our hearts our heavy without our son.
It will be five weeks until we all travel to visit for a Parents Weekend. 
And I am counting every hour that passes, hoping those five weeks pass by quickly.


Abby said...

You are a brave mama and he sounds like such a sweet kid! I hope he loves school. And that the five weeks pass quickly!

Francesca said...

childhood isn't forever, is it? becoming an adult is hard - and becoming the parent of an adult/young adult child is even harder. hugs.

Anonymous said...

This is one of the best blogs I have read in a long time. It is so optimistic and sad, both at the same time.

We will count 5 weeks together with you, BG.

Surfer dude!