It is different living on a camp.
I usually like to give my whole self, but sometimes maybe that's not always the best thing to do.
Like any relationship/friendship that is just starting, sometimes you find awkward moments when you are not sure how much to give or how much to hold.
Here on a camp, where there about 75-80 families, some with kids, some without, it is even a little trickier. You think that you have found friends that are willing to learn about you and give some of their selves out also....
but then you just are not sure how far to go.
Your news is spread far and wide...good or bad, happy or sad.
I have found a nice group...but still, I am a little worried that I give too much too quickly. I am who I am, and I rarely hold anything back. I think I need to learn to do just that...not give too much, and not trust too quickly.
When you live any expat life, I think you learn that you really don't want to give all of yourself. At least not in the first days anyways. You know that there will be some people that make a difference in your life, and some that you can really do without. You learn and trust fairly quickly, because at any given moment, you or they may leave.
If you don't take a chance and trust your instincts. then you may feel very lonely.
I hope that I have made the right choices...only time will tell.
9 comments:
I think if you are a caring empathetic kind of person, you have to have a clear sense of boundaries, otherwise the needs of others can swallow you. So, a certain kind of selfishness is a good and necessary thing, it seems.
I've never lived in a camp, and am not sure what that means, but it seems to me that you are right to follow your instincts. We have our instincts not for nothing ;)
You can still be a caring person, smile, be helpful and all that without giving away all your personal stuff. You'll find friends you can trust if you take your time.
Just take your time, and use your judgment, and you will learn who you can trust and who will be your friends. Good luck settling in!
I also learned to reign it in a bit when meeting new people. I think it makes the friendships that develop more special. I'm curious to know what a camp is!
Just the fact that you are stopping to think about the issue shows that you have the level of maturity to ensure that no matter how you play it, it will be the right decision for you!!
oh boy I do know what you mean!
In Casa I was too open and trusted too quickly. I stopped because I don't trust people any more. Only a couple of months left so I don't worry. But I'm very disappointed.
I've learned a lot - again.
Greetings from Helsinki, -2C / 28.4F, brrrr....it's cold.
Have a great weekend!
I've never lived in a camp. But when we lived in Bahia, it seems we were in a camp, there were people from Paulo's company everywhere. It was tough. I wouldn't go to the bakery, gym or to the dentist and not run in at least 2 or 3 acquaintances. It was tough.
I hope you husband made to Atyrau safely.
Thinking of you. That does not sound like an easy life...I rely on a group of friends and I can't imagine having that type of situation to deal with. I guess the only advice (not that I'm really experienced in your situation) that I can share is that my most reliable and dearest friends are the ones I've had since I was in University...they are "gold."
I know exactly how you feel.
I can sign the whole statement just like that.
And I know the doubts.
Am in the same boat right now with at least one person. My gut tells me two things, one moment this and the next it's mixed up.
Oh well, like you say, time will tell :/
Best wishes for you!!
May you find really good people there!
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